First, "remember that we are always sober," he says.
So if you've knocked back a bunch with your girls and then visit your sober guy, he's going to remember all the crazy, wacked-out stuff you say.
"We're dealing with all these issues with alcohol and it's like you're putting your own onto us," he says.
"Even if it's not that deep, it goes there." "With me, wine with dinner or a cocktail or two is fine but I'd prefer not to see a girl falling over herself," he says.
” so I’ve been telling men before the date that I don’t drink and suggest coffee or food and they seem completely put out and often times cancel on me, because to them, I’m just a coffee date, I’m not a real date aka they won’t get laid on a coffee date. I’m leaning towards not saying anything and when they undoubtedly offer to meet for drinks I just show up and order a water and hope they don’t mind drinking alone. But before I respond to your questions, I need to assure you: You are not undateable. Eventually, though, I needed to push myself out there again, and as if the dating world weren’t cruel and torturous enough, I had become a tainted woman — a woman who doesn’t drink. Maybe they’re just heavy drinkers like I used to be, who struggle with shyness and insecurity and have passionate feelings about artisanal brews and can’t even conceive of being close to a person without a drink in their hands. I liked the drama of having men around, even questionable ones, because it made me feel desirable and exciting. Many people are comfortable not drinking — they can take it or leave it.
I know many ladies (and gentlemen) struggle with these issues, too, so I asked one of them if I could share our correspondence, and she agreed.
If you are someone who doesn’t just drink alcohol but actually celebrates it as a lifestyle choice, dating someone sober means that many of the activities you enjoy won’t be shareable with your partner. On the other hand, scores of men and women enjoy an occasional drink but, overall, alcohol is a take-it-or-leave-it thing for them.
The point of this article isn’t to designate which way is better or healthier – because we already know that alcohol in moderation and making wise choices is fine and good – but the point is to know who you are.
The answer, in short, depends on how central a role alcohol plays in your life. Leaf through a glossy magazine, and you’ll likely come across at least a few advertisements for glamorous wine festivals or beer-lover events.
Because I live in California, which is home to endless vineyards, wine is all the rage, and it’s common for those who can afford it to head to a weekend in Napa Valley or a local vineyard for a little R&R.