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In comparison, in various sample surveys roughly 25 per cent of American men and 15 per cent of American women report having ever had extramarital sex.Yes, this is data from 2002 or earlier, so we might guess the numbers are higher (thought a 2005 study cited in this Guardian article put the rates at 20% for men and 14% for women).But then again, other surveys on extramarital sex in the US have suggested rates as high as 50 percent, so don’t assume my fellow Americans are necessarily any better.I say, learn to guard yourself against China’s dishonest men.Chinese friend, Chinese guy, Chinese men, Dating Chinese men, dating in China, dating Western women, extramarital affairs in China, foreign woman, foreigners in China, love in China, stereotypes, Western women Now, I see a lot of positive things on Asian men here on this blog and I do appreciate that, but what about the not-so-positive ones?There is one thing in particular i’ve been thinking about for a while lately: the cheating and the tradition of having xiaosan [mistresses] here in China. I moved here permanently in 2008, at which point I gave up eating cheeseburgers, wearing wrinkled t-shirts, and speaking English.

As for what you said about the dearth of unmarried men in their late 20s, it’s true — many Chinese get hitched before 30, leaving you with fewer choices (though it’s far more acceptable for the men to be over 30 and single — double standard, as usual).That means you can forget about breezing home at five, ordering an extra-large pizza, putting your feet up, and watching TV. No, you either have to stay at the office until midnight, or come home and get busy. Sorry, I meant, “true love.” My fingers slipped off the keys.Gotta quit eating this extra-large pizza while I type.Yes, many Chinese think Western women are sluts — you can largely thank those Hollywood movies/TV shows, which are ever-so-popular in China, for reinforcing this idea. So in China, that makes us an easy target for any guy with an easy extramarital affair on his mind — he sees your foreign face, and immediately assumes you’re already game for just about anything in bed, even if it means playing mistress.So statistically, I expect that Western women in China are just more likely to run into these no-good sort of guys.Why does it seem that foreign girls are their preferred choice when they look for xiaosan?…when you put Western women and Chinese men together, some Chinese imagine we’re no more than his mistress — as they say in Chinese, the disanzhe(第三者) or ernai (二奶) — or the ultimate one-night stand.It’s no wonder my Chinese friend Caroline once said to me, “You should be careful who you date.”In a survey of married urban Chinese conducted from 1988 to 1990, 29 percent of married men and 23 per cent of married women said they had engaged in extramarital sex.In a more recent national survey, Pan Suiming of People’s University found that between 17 and 19 per cent of married urban residents engaged in extramarital sex.Anyway, it’s not easy for foreign men; we just have ridiculously low standards. Like I was on a date with this Japanese girl – this was a couple of years ago – and we went to a Mexican restaurant. And we were hitting it off, drinking Coronas and laughing and making flirty eyes and then out of nowhere, and bear in mind this was our first date, she asks, Things kind of degraded from there, and we never went out again.Which is a shame, because I was kind of into that whole witch thing.


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