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Dating a very busy man

Sometimes your career will be up/down, and sometimes his will — it’s all cyclical.

Rather than being competitive, try to see his successes as your successes as well.

I’m curious to see what the readers say here, because I never had great experiences dating guys who were as busy as I was.

I will say, though, that in that class — the high-achieving man — it was easiest to recognize when someone had decided it was Time to Get Married because they were much more intense on a first date, and much more direct when they weren’t interested (which actually was appreciated).

We tried on the Romance Hat (cousin to Hogwarts’ Sorting Hat) and the moment it touched our heads it yelled out “Doom and Gloom!

We recently talked about a job for which we both wanted to apply, and that conversation didn’t really go well.(As always, apologies in advance for every time I say “he” or “the guy” — I really just mean the person you’re dating.) It’s important to recognize that there are different levels of togetherness, and not every long-term boyfriend or girlfriend will be a true partner.I think you really need to assess what level the partnership is at before you make decisions or operating assumptions that will affect your career (or your finances, for that matter).Appreciate and support his career and his successes, and those favors & support will be returned. Not always, but often the happier/more satisfied a person is in his/her career, the happier he/she will be in the relationship, so be supportive.[For two people in the same field,] I guess they could try to support each other and build each other up, and to transfer that competitive energy to something else. By asking him to be more than friends, you ask him for a greater commitment.I met this great (if impossibly busy) guy and we became incredibly close very quickly.How do we deal with this competitive nature so that it doesn’t destruct an otherwise perfectly good relationship?And are some people just too competitive that they might as well find someone in a different field of work?Neither of us wanted that so we changed hats and decided we would be “best friends” instead.Love is a beautiful thing and I understand that you don’t want to throw it away. Shift a few expectations, create a few boundaries and you can continue to fall in love with this man AND let him be who he needs to be at this time. In time, a week, a month, a year, he might find he DOES a lot to give to someone and that someone might be you. Click to Tweet: What to do when you’re in love with an unavailable man.

551 comments

  1. I'm dating a really busy guy, where should I fit into his list of priorities? I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 months. This tells me that he's a very.

  2. Oh man, where were you two ladies or friends like you for the three years I was dating my ex who was always too busy school, work, family – it was always something?

  3. Feb 12, 2009 I met a great guy about a month ago. We kept in contact by email at first but when he made no moves to ask me out I sort of dropped the email communication.

  4. Rules for Dating Busy. I’m talking about very simple traditions. Ask him what it’s like trying to find time to date women when he’s such a busy man with.

  5. How To Date A Busy Man. Listening to his needs is very important as it will give you. Not every woman can deal with dating a busy man or has the commitment to.

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